These past few days I don’t even know what I’m doing with my emotions. I don’t even care that I’m talking to certain people the way that I am! Am I growing to the idea of possibly being openly to different people! But am I ready for the huge life change that it’s going to bring me! I’m just not even that afraid of people finding out! I’m just not ready for the talks and looks I will get for changing but I’m just feeling right finally in my life accepting these feelings👌
Being positive yes its hard as fuck to do. But what happens when you have to just become a realist. I’m so sick of being told not to stress out but the thing is how can I not be stressed. My mother is leaving this week for god knows how long. I have to start paying for my bills which is explainable but I have no job. I want to apply to jobs but the plan was for me to go to Virginia in the summer, so what the fuck do I do now. I’m not looking forward to living with my aunt and a million people in one house. OKAY STOP be grateful right? yes I am very much but it just seems like I’m so fucking pathetic. I know people have it way worse than I do but it doesn’t mean I’m not human and my emotions go crazy. I just wish that my life could just fall into place already. I want my FUCKING license already so I can stop depending on people to drive me places. I want a car but ughhh want want want I need to start DOING. STOP being so nagggyy about my shitty life. People are growing up we cannot all just expect life to stay the same. But ughhhhh College work and thats all I want to balance right now it’s just hard to when you have no ride. I want to grow up and live my life already.
